When Esther asked me to do a guest post about decluttering and minimalizing, I ruefully looked around at the state of affairs that my house was in at that particular moment of the day and thought – “Yes…those would definitely be my two areas of expertise…three small hooligans ago.”

These days, I feel like I am living in a perpetual whirlwind – a state of barely controlled chaos with shoes, toys, socks, legos, and Cheerios that I am continually trying to keep at bay.  With three young boys, it is a bit of a zoo around here!

There are a few habits that I do maintain, however, in which I feel really do bring some semblance of sanity to my life and to my home, and I will gladly share those with you. 

But, first – a few disclaimers:

1.  I am a minimalist by nature.  Barrenness and simplicity bring me great pleasure.

2.  I take obscene amounts of joy in throwing things away.

3.  Neither my husband nor my three little boys share these same loves.

4.  And if anyone were to walk through the doors of my house right now, they would most definitely see several areas of my home that desperately need decluttering; so I do not pretend to have the corner on the market on all things simplistic. 

Professional, I am not.

Exhibit A.  I give you my oldest son’s bed.  Not quite sure where he sleeps, exactly:

Decluttering obviously does not make his heart sing as it does mine.

And so we compromise.  And we work together.

*     *     *    *     *

If you are really serious about getting rid of some junk in your house and you honestly want to pare down some of your belongings, here are some suggestions:

:: For starters, here’s a good rule of thumb for shopping:  if you don’t love it or need it, don’t buy it.  We are a culture obsessed with “stuff.”

::  Have a yard sale every summer and heave-ho as much junk as you are able to get rid of in a weekend.  And whatever doesn’t sell by Sunday – take it to Good Will.  Don’t bring it back inside.

::  Throughout the entire year leading up to this big hurrah, have a yard sale box perpetually going.  Periodically whenever you are rooting through things, or find that you have too much of something, or your Great Aunt Hilda gives you a real doozy of a birthday gift that is just completely hideous, put it into the box.  Once your box is filled,  tape it up, label it with a big bold “Yard Sale,” put it down in your basement or out in your garage, and immediately set out another one to begin filling.  This is helpful in getting rid of things, but it’s also really handy when it comes time for the big day.  It makes having a yard sale not so daunting, as you already (hopefully) have several boxes to unload in your front yard.

:: Also, if they are old enough to understand, give a box to your kids to fill. To help ease their pain of getting rid of their “treasures,” tell them that whatever money they make from selling their things at the yard sale – they get to keep…for purchasing more “treasures.”  Joy to the world.

::  And if you’re really serious about decluttering your home, systematically go through each room of your house – closet by closet, drawer by drawer etc.  If you don’t love it, don’t need it, or don’t use it – get rid of it!  This goes for everything:  clothing, decor, knickknacks, dishware, toys – whatever.  Take three boxes, label them:  “Chuck,” “Give,” & “Sell,” and go to town getting rid of stuff. Be ruthless. 

::  And if there are some items that you are just really on the fence about, put all of these things into a ginormous box, tape it up, set it aside for awhile, and if you do not open that thing within the year – send it off to GoodWill.  Stay strong, and don’t open it back up, or I guarantee, back into the house all of those items will go!

:: This may sound kind of extreme, but whenever you buy something or bring something new into your home – send something else away.  Just make sure it’s not a small child….  So, for example, if you buy a few new shirts, look through your drawers and find some shirts that you haven’t even placed on your body for at least three years, anyway, and throw them into the yard sale box.  Stop playing the game of “Oh, I might wear that again someday.”  If you can’t remember the last time you wore it, chances are, you’re probably not going to wear it again.

*     *     *     *     *

As far as daily life goes around here, I really try to do a little bit every day.  That’s my biggest secret.  I find this to be far less stressful than waiting for everything to get to maximum capacity all at once and then have it come crashing down all around me.  So, I do at least something every single day; even if it’s just swishing the toilets or sweeping one room…

I try to start each day with a clean slate, so this means I rarely go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink or toys all over the floor.  Tomorrow will bring new messes of its own, so I would rather not bring today’s into it, as well.  Obviously, this doesn’t happen every day, but I find that when dishes and messes pile up around here – so does the stress.

I have only two dirty laundry hampers for dirty clothes in this house for the five people in our family:  one for the upstairs and one for the downstairs.  As soon as one hamper gets filled, that’s my cue to do a load of laundry.  For me, I would rather do one load a day as opposed to waiting until it comes out my ears. 

I have boxes and baskets for holding everything – from toys, to books, to movies, toilettries – you name it.  Everything has a place.  Specifically for my kids, there is a basket of toys in the living room, and a toy box in each of my boy’s bedrooms.  Once any one of them gets filled to overflowing, we start to weed.  We are also in the stage of life where everything the boys love to play with seems to have 1,000 parts.  So, I have big plastic tubs that slide right under their beds which hold their legos, playmobile, lincoln logs, playdoh etc.  My only rule for them is that they can play with whatever they want, but whatever mess they make, they have to clean it up before moving on to their next mess.

So, those are my basic rules of thumb. 

In summary:

~  If a mess gets made, clean it up then and there.

~  Try to start each day fresh. 

~  Do just a little bit every day, and you won’t have to do a ton on one day alone.

~  Have a yardsale once a year!

~  If you bring something new into your home, get rid of something else.

~  Contain!  Contain!  Contain your things!  And when that particular container gets filled – start to weed it out again.

…And give yourself a big bath of grace and perspective.  Rome was not conquered in a day.  And they say trying to keep your house clean – or decluttered, for that matter – is a little bit like nailing jell-o to a tree!  But, maybe just a few of these tidbits will help some of your jell-o to stick…

So there you have it.  This is what works for me.

What works for you?

For the past 3+ years (since KJ was born), I have worked very part-time (about 10 hrs/week split between 2 days).  In addition, I work from home, am active with our church, and also am very involved in a women’s networking group (this year I happen to be the President).  Scott works at our church as the youth pastor, but also has started his own home business which over the past year has increased significantly.  Which of course, is a good thing, except for the amount of time he has to put into it.  Over the past several months, we have both been feeling quite stressed.  And I, in particular, have been feeling like I have not been able to do things well, because my energy has been going in so many directions.  And with Scott’s increase in his business, he’s had less time to help out with household stuff that he used to do.  So it was all coming to a point where we had to really sit down and determine how we were going to make this work.

We both have been praying about it and talking about it quite a bit, and we finally determined that it would be the right time for me to step down from my job and focus primarily on home/family & business.  This has taken such a burden off my shoulders – I cannot even express how grateful I am!  I know 10 hrs/week does not sound like a lot, but I really feel that we will be able to have a much better routine.  I’ll still be working for a few more weeks to make sure that my role can transition to someone else.  And I am so grateful for the fact that I have had such an awesome employer that has worked with me all through KJ’s birth, etc.  I could not have asked for a better scenario!  But, I am also very excited about this change, and grateful that we can afford to to it (with help from Scott’s business & mine).

The other big change is that KJ will be starting preschool TOMORROW!  I really can’t believe this either.  I feel like she’s so grown up!  She is just going to be going 2 mornings a week, but I think she will really love it.  She is so social and I think sometimes she gets bored being just at home.  So I am looking forward to seeing how she does with this change, and I’m hoping I won’t cry when I drop her off!!

Among all of this, God is really working on my heart about a variety of things, one of which is discipline.  I know that with being at home full-time, I am going to need to be even more disciplined with my time.  That’s a whole other blog post, though!  But really, I am praying that God will teach me where to put my focus, how to use my time wisely, and how to be a good steward of all that He has given us.  I am so grateful!

Have you ever noticed on the front of most women’s magazines that the lead articles are always the same…….lose weight, exercise, get organized, de-stress and by the way here is a great recipe for chocolate cake.  Talk about a vicious cycle!  The holiday editions are the worst.  Each issue is full of ads that scream BUY! BUY! BUY! – followed by the January articles that suggest we all learn to downsize and de-clutter.   Anyone see a pattern here?   The best part is when we start making New Year’s resolutions vowing to tackle every one of the areas all at the same time.  No wonder we fail!

For me, picking one resolution with a big impact provides the incentive I need to stick with it.   This year my resolution is to get a handle on my grocery shopping.    I work for a hunger-relief organization and I am constantly reminded of the extremes in our society.   I look at food differently now and feel compelled to avoid waste whenever possible.   In this economy, managing your food budget is one of the best ways to stretch a dollar, but it will also help with those other resolutions to de-stress, get organized and yes, even lose weight.

I have enjoyed following The Wellnessmom Challenge’s January tips for de-cluttering our clothes closet, so I decided to apply some of those principles to my pantry as well.

1)      Shop your Pantry First - Take all the food out of your pantry and group together the like items.    You might be surprised that you have the beginnings of many meals already on hand.  Make a list of meals that come to mind and note which missing ingredients you need to add to your grocery list.

2)      Dinner or Donate?   You may find that you have duplicates of items or products that are nearing their expiration date.   If you are really ambitious – dedicate a day to cooking up some meals to use these items up, freeze and store for future meals.   If you are focused on de-cluttering – consider donating those items to a local food drive or neighborhood food pantry where they will be put to good use before going to waste!

3)      Plan your Week - Make a list of all the meals your family likes the most.  What is the little black dress on your family menu?   How can you “accessorize” to keep meals from getting boring?   For example, pick four chicken recipes to rotate throughout the month instead of serving the same version week after week.   Once you have your list of menu options, picking a week’s worth is not so bad.

4)      Does this Dinner Make Me Look Fat?   Seriously, this is a great time to assess what is actually going on your dinner table.   Make note of which meals yield the highest  health benefits and stick to those.    Look for “lighter” recipes of your favorite comfort foods.

5)      Bargain Shop- You don’t have to be an extreme-couponer to spend less at the grocery store – but don’t ignore those savings either.  Start with the store’s weekly flyer.   These are readily available in the weekend paper and many stores have on-line versions.   See what is on sale and plan your menu around these featured items.    If you do like to coupon – go for it, but be careful not to fall back into the clutter trap.   If you can’t pass up a good bargain, remember that donation box!   Couponing is a frugal and fun way to make a contribution to a local food pantry.

6)      Invest in Core Pieces-    Sometimes you have to invest a little to get the most return.  Consider signing up for a local farm share.   The quality and flavor of fresh produce, eggs and locally raised meat products are worth every penny.   Even a few items to supplement your weekly groceries will make a difference.  Not only are you providing your family with the healthiest food, but you are supporting a local business as well.   Even your pickiest of eaters will look forward to seeing “what’s new” each week.   I live in Maine, so imagine my excitement to find a farm share that runs all winter!   www.freerangefarmtruck.com

7)      Know Before You Go – The hardest part of staying on track with all shopping is making and then sticking to a list.   Ironically, I had to organize my list first, in order to get me organized!   Consider making a template for your grocery list and storing it on your computer.   I made categories that correspond to the order of the aisles in my local grocery store.  (Click Here)  No more zig-zagging back and forth for forgotten items!    As you make your list, record each item under the section it is located in the store and highlight any items that should be on sale or that you have a coupon for.  Some prefer to have a pre-set list of all their routine items.   Create a system that works for you and you will be amazed at how much faster you can get in and out of the store!

Now, those that know me know that I am not religious about doing this every time I go to the grocery store – but it is what I am aiming for!   A healthy,well-planned diet is one of the most important ways to take care of ourselves and our families.   Yes, some planning is required – but once it is done, you really will feel more organized; less stressed and might even be able to celebrate with a small portion of that chocolate cake!

Melissa Huston works in development for Good Shepherd Food-Bank , a hunger relief organization that  serves as a supplier to a network of over 600 partner agencies across the State of Maine.  She can be reached at mhuston@gsfb.org .  For additional resources on empowering families to make healthy affordable meals visit www.feedingmaine.org  and learn about the Food-Bank’s partnership with Cooking Matters.

For recipes and additional tips on reducing food waste:

http://cookingmatters.org/top-10-tips-to-waste-less-food/

The moral of the story is this: put the big rocks in first.  Your bucket is the 24 hours you have in a day.  The big rocks are the priorities – the things that really matter to you in life.  The gravel is the less important stuff, the distractions of life, that tend to bog us down.  The water is the overflow – things that come up at the last minute, perhaps.  The issue is, if you put in the water and the gravel first, you’ll never fit the big rocks in.  But if you put the big rocks in first, then the gravel, and then the water, it will all fit.

As I’ve been thinking about this, I’ve decided something.  I’m not really doing new year’s resolutions.  Instead, I’m determining what my “big rocks” are, and making an effort to really put those things into my day, my week, my month FIRST.  Before all the other distractions.  I really love this concept, because I think it helps us to keep in mind the big picture.  It’s easy to get bogged down with little things, that at the end of the day, month, or year, are not really going to matter at all.  So if instead we write down and plan out what our big rocks are, we are more likely to spend our time focused on those.  There still needs to be time for the gravel too, and the water.  But by putting the big rocks in first, you won’t be sacrificing the most important things for the urgent things.

So, what are your big rocks?  Are you making the time for them?

Let’s focus on one area of the house each week!  Each day, the goal is to get rid of 5 items.  These can be things that you will throw away or donate or sell – but ultimately, the goal is to get them out of your house!

Week one we’re going to focus on the bedrooms!  It’s possible that you, like me, received some new clothes for Christmas.  So why not get rid of some things that you don’t need or don’t love?  There are lots of options: donate some things to charities, Goodwill, Salvation Army, sell them on facebook, or sell at a consignment shop.  Or, if they are really not in good condition, just trash them.

So who’s with me?  Take the decluttering challenge by heading over to The WellnessMom Challenge page on Facebook and click “like” or comment on the challenge.  OR, you can comment here and let me know!

I have to say, there are several things that I love about my Kindle.  One is that it’s lightweight and easy to hold.  Another is that you can literally put hundreds or thousands of books on it… no more carrying around the 5 different books that I’m trying to read.  Finally, I love that I can do just that – take it anywhere, without it being big and bulky.  Plus, I’m the type that usually reads more than one book at once, so I can do that easily with the Kindle – I can just switch back and forth between books, and it automatically holds my place where I left off (no more worrying about folding pages down or using bookmarks).

All in all, I’m definitely enjoying my Kindle.  I’m reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, per the recommendation of many friends.  I’m happy to say that I’m already 27% through the book (another cool feature of the Kindle) and that’s just since Sunday!

Perhaps you’re one of those paper book lovers like myself.  I do still love the feel of a good book in my hands, but I’ll probably be buying mostly e-books from now on!

• Do I tell my child about Santa or not?  If not, do I say he doesn’t exist or just NOT say that he does exist?
• How do I teach my child the true meaning of Christmas (i.e. the birth of Jesus) without turning it into a big lecture?
• How can I inspire the spirit of giving in my child rather than just getting presents?
• How do I teach my child to care for others who are in need?
• How do I keep it simple without totally depriving my child of the fun and excitement?

Okay, maybe not every parent wrestles with these issues, but these are some of the things I have thought about this year, now that KJ is 3 years old and is beginning to understand things a lot more.  We have really been trying to keep everything in balance.  I tend to not want to go to one extreme or the other.  For example, I sometimes am shocked to see/hear how much people spend on gifts for their children each year.  This is a personal decision of course, and I’m sure it is more challenging as they get older and truly WANT certain things.  But for this year, at least, I kept my spending to a minimum while still being able to get a variety of things.  The other extreme might be to do no gifts at all.  And if you are someone who chooses that, I am totally fine with that.  However, personally I really enjoy the process, and so I don’t see myself totally eliminating this tradition.

One of the things we have done this year is utilize Advent candles.  We have done some of a devotional that goes along with it, although I have to say that I have definitely had a hard time keeping up with that.  Even still, she gets super excited about doing the candles and blowing them out after our meal.  I’m quite sure I’ve invented our own schedule for Advent, but we’ll certainly light the last one on Christmas day!

Another thing we have done is read this amazing book that I bought when I was in college called “Mary’s First Christmas“:

(My roommate and I went to the CBD warehouse sale and these books were on major clearance.  I think we both bought 7 or 8 copies!)  Anyway, it’s a children’s book written from the perspective of Mary, telling Jesus the story of his birth.  It’s really wonderful and has beautiful illustrations – I highly recommend it.  So, we have been reading this book almost every night, a few pages at a time, with KJ.  Her version of listening to a book is constant movement, chattering, asking “who’s that” about EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the illustrations, and often playing with her dinosaurs or some other toy.  However, it’s amazing what she retains!  She really seems to be getting what Christmas is all about.  Which is good, since when I asked her what Christmas was about a couple months ago, she replied “Santa and presents!!”  Now, she says, “Jesus’ birthday!”  Okay, so I’m not a complete parenting failure.  : )

Anyway, I guess my whole point is this… I think it’s a balancing act as a parent when it comes to Christmas.  Each of us has to find our own balance.  We shouldn’t criticize each other for teaching our children about Santa, or NOT teaching our children about Santa.  We should encourage each other as we strive to create lasting memories with our children, whether it’s serving at a homeless shelter or opening gifts on Christmas morning.  We should share ideas about what is working and how our kids are learning.  In the end… none of us is perfect, and we’re all just trying not to fall off the balance beam!

“Mama….

I love you so so much!  Oh yes I do!

I love you!

I love you so so much!  I love you!  Oh yes I do!

And all the other people, I love you too!!”

Fill in the middle with “I love you” about 700 times, and you’ll get the idea.  It was just so sweet and spontaneous!  I wish I could have had it on video, because she has such passion when she sings.

So yeah, I love her too.

I want to share just a simple tips on budgeting that might help you.  Even though we’re already a week into the month, there is still time to plan.  I have gotten a lot of my concepts from Dave Ramsey – if you haven’t heard of him, definitely check him out.  There are plenty of financial advisors out there who also would say similar things as well.

• List all of your income and all of your expenses.
• For your expenses, break down the mandatory ones (i.e. mortgage, car payment, electric bill, etc) and the discretionary (eating out, cable, internet, etc).
• If your income is LESS than your expenses, look at your discretionary income and figure out how to reduce this.  This is easier for some than others, but I can guarantee you, there’s probably something you can live without.  For example, my husband and I have NEVER paid for cable.  Right now we don’t even get any TV channels.  And guess what?  We’re still alive!  So if you are really serious about getting your budget under control, be willing to consider ALL things.
• If you don’t know how much you spend on discretionary things, take the next 4 weeks and WRITE DOWN every dollar you spend.  Every time you go out to eat, every coffee, every grocery trip, every gas fill up, etc.  You will be amazed at the power of just writing it down!
• Once you have whittled down your expenses to match your income, focus on paying off debt.  Any extra income that comes in should go towards a debt payment.  Dave and others recommend starting with the smallest debt and working towards the largest.  This is what we are doing as well.  We have paid off my vehicle and are now working on my husband’s.  After that, we’ll roll over that payment into my student loans.
• Finally, regarding Christmas: it’s the same time each year.  What if you set aside a certain amount per month throughout the year so that you are prepared with your budget for next year?  We have a certain amount that we have saved up, and that’s what we’re spending on Christmas.  We’re not piling up onto credit cards and going into more debt. It’s much less stressful this way!  Not to mention, by putting aside some each month, I can actually Christmas shop throughout the year and just deduct it from that $ that we have set aside.

What are your favorite budgeting tips and tricks?  These points above are NOT exhaustive nor even scratching the surface – they are really just to get you thinking and help you work on this.  Again I highly recommend reading “The Total Money Makeover” or attending “Financial Peace University” if you can.  This will give you much more in-depth help with your budgeting!